Thank you so much for all your responses to our contest asking "What is the funniest thing your students have said to you?" Your answers were so funny we just had to share them with the world! Read on, and get ready to giggle.
1. After having a dance troupe come and lead my grade fives in some new dance moves, my dry sense of humor student walked up to me and stood next to me quietly. Looked towards me and said, "well, that was interesting...." And then put his hands in his short pockets and just walked away quietly.
2. When I had to step out of the classroom for a moment to deal with something I said to the students....Please continue working and I dont want to hear a peep from in here.
Just as I stepped outside the door I hear... "PEEP"
3. A kid told me once “Oh no, yellow is not your colour.”
4. I once had a student look at a picture of me and say, 'Oh look, it's a lion.'
5. "Did you dye your hair white for Halloween?" (I was a couple of weeks overdue to have my roots touched up... I'll never make that mistake again!)
6. You're pretty for an older person. :/
7. Me: “What happened to your eye, why is it all red?”
Student:“I touched my dog’s butt then touched my eye”.
8. We were writing word family sentences and one of my students wrote “ I shake my bun for $” My response : 😳. I guess he did use an 'un' family word...
9. I over heard a couple of kindergarten boys talking..."If you find something that looks like chocolate on the floor...get the teacher to check it first, it's not always chocolate!" I asked what he meant and he replied, "I thought I found chocolate at home on the floor but it was my brother's consomated poop!" I believe he meant constipated! lol It was really hard to stop the laughter when looking at the disgusted look on their faces!
10. "Eww your leg is wet" said a JK boy sitting on my lap as he peed on me. Oh September and your lack of toilet trained JKs!
11. Me: So then Goldilocks went...
Kid (stands up): Mrs. Cater! Look! I caug
ht the lice bug! Here! It's HUGE!
Me: uh. um. wait... what?...
Kid (fingers in my face with bug): Isn't it the biggest one?! You should probably tell my mom.
Me: Ok. I will... um...yeah....
Kid: Oh! I dropped it on the carpet!
(Class backs up a metre, in unison, all gasp)
12. During a discussion with the pilot guest speaker:
Kid: "My mom has a guitar"
Pilot: "That's neat."
*two more kids hands go up*
Me: "If your hand is up to tell Mr. M about a guitar, put it down."
*one hand goes down*
Me: "Ok... so ... you're absolutely sure i
t's not about a guitar?"
Me: "OK. Go ahead."
Kid: "My dad has a guitar."
14. “Did you know that mom dinosaurs have babies out of their feet?”
15. Kid: "I'm flabbergasted"
Me: "Do you know what that word means?"
Kid: "Of course , it means I have to fart."
16. “Mme my mom and dad go to work every day ! Cause they have job! but what do you do as a job? “
17. After getting my hair cut in an asymmetrical style, an 8 year old student says to me “The kids are saying you have the hair of a teenage boy!”
18. Overheard two students remarking about a classmate being in the 'yellow zone' (grumpy, irritable). Student replied, "Yeah it's like when Ms. G can't find her coffee thermos".
19. I had a child tell his mother that we had a man volunteering in our room. This man was covered in tattoos and his name was “Chaos”. This person doesn’t exist.
20. A student in a Kindergarten class cut his shirt open with his scissors when he was supposed to be doing a cut and paste activity. When I asked him why he did that, he said “I never get air in that area”
21. We have a bucket of items that the kids get to choose from for their birthday. After looking through the items one little girl looked at me and said, “ Soooo do you have any gift cards?”
22. This was a few years ago, but during a student-led conference I asked a student if he'd told his parents what had I said to him the day before (it was a compliment about his reading). His reply, "It's not like I sit around the dinner table talking about YOU."
23. A student was frustrated with how long it was taking him to form his letters in printing and he said, “I can’t wait until I can curse in writing.” He meant cursive...
24. Student A to class: "Its not weird to drink ketchup, see?"
25. I listened to an entire conversation about what a phone book was. In the end they decided to google it.
26. I have an ELL student in class who is working hard on learning language. Last week with the hot weather she asked me why my under arms were crying!
28. I had a student following me around the classroom one day. Finally when we were getting ready to go home he couldn’t button up his over shirt. While looking up at me he asked if I would help. I told him to try it first. His reply, “But you’re my special woman.”
29. After completing a centre in Kindergarten one of my students said yesterday "Well I am done with all the hard work this year." It was a coloring page.
30. I was subbing in the school where my mom was principal. “So your mom’s name is Ms. Goring, and she had a baby and decided to name it Miss Goring? Weird.”
31. One boy went around showing everyone his new headband at recess, only to discover when he pulled it off that it was women’s underwear he had found on the playground.